ISENGARD
v2.4 — 2026
Added gravity. Kept it as a setting.
Ragdoll physics toggle now available. Type gravity anywhere on the site. Page elements physically collapse. Reset on reload. We added this in an afternoon and have no regrets.
Changelog
The forge keeps records.
Shipped features, in descending order of gravity. Some are real product decisions. Some are not. We have not labelled them differently.
v2.4 — 2026
Deployed DOOM.
A secret installation of DOOM (1993 shareware, id Software) is now accessible at /doom or by typing doom anywhere. This is a stress-relief module. It is not a weapons system. We feel the distinction is important.
v2.3 — 2026
Added Black Speech localization.
The site now translates into Tolkien's Black Speech. Click the Eye of Sauron flag in the language picker. All UI becomes Ash Nazg. We considered whether this was a good idea for approximately four minutes.
v2.3 — 2026
Palantír cursor shipped.
Custom cursor: glowing purple orb with 90ms lag. Follows the mouse as if reluctantly. Named after the seeing-stones in Tolkien that Saruman used and Sauron exploited. The metaphor is doing heavy lifting.
v2.2 — 2026
The Ring was disallowed.
Disallow: /the-ring added to robots.txt. /the-ring is also a real page. The ARG starts there.
v2.2 — 2026
Implemented honest cookie banner.
"We use cookies. You'll click accept regardless. Let's not pretend." First-party analytics only. The copy tests better than every compliant alternative we considered.
v2.1 — 2026
Added 23 easter eggs. Documented 20 of them.
Three are undocumented. The colophon lists the rest. The Konami code is in there because it had to be. The prime number validator is in there because it should be. "Noted." is in there because withholding the payoff is funnier than delivering one.
v2.0 — 2026
Shipped. Nothing was ready. Everything was ready.
Initial public build. Single HTML file per page, single CSS file, single JS file, no framework. The homepage loads in under a second on 3G. This was the goal.